Monday, October 27, 2008

I gonna cry man...

Fuck sia...
I miss my post to be the first warlock T.T
ccb...
and...
WARLOCK HAS ALREADY BEEN OUT FOR 2 MONTHS AND I KNOW SHIT ABOUT IT?
WTH!!!

haiz...
nvm...
since miss liao...
then wait 2 more week...
then...

Taste the skill of my Warlock arme... hehehe...

Posted at
12:33 AM
My life.
Lib's life.
Pika~!

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Sharing worries?

What just happen today...
just simply show that...
I should not talk at all...
I should not say my plans...
I should not share anything...
I should just shut up.

It's ok...
It's ok...
I always have no one to talk to when i have problems...
You are the only one i told you about this problem... and my plans for it...
What happen?
It just shows that...
I shouldn't say anything anymore...
It just shows that...
I have no one to talk to...

It's ok...
What happen today has already told me that...
I am fated to be alone.

It's ok...
You don't need to help me anymore...

It's ok...

Posted at
7:48 PM
My life.
Lib's life.
Pika~!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Update?

Maybe i really did leave this blog with spiders web already...
But...
I just don't feel like posting...

What else can i post about my life now?
There is only one feeling inside me everyday...
Lost.

I am just in pain everyday...
Even if we aren't quarreling...
Remember that time, when i look into your eyes so deep? then you ask me why stare at you?
I was taking to you... but i just couldn't say those words out...
I just...
couldn't say anything out...

I have no courage to talk anymore...
Everything that come out from my mouth seems to be wrong...
That's why, i don't post...
I don't want to share anything...
I don't want anyone to know i am in pain...

Yesterday... Julia came for studies...
I told her... I am sad...
She say, "dun lie lah you dont look sad at all..."

Maybe...
I am slowly getting back my old self of wearing a mask...

Yea...
I went to mac today...
Having fun? not quite...
The feeling of hungry plus being penniless there ain't fun...
All one could do is to stare at the food and listen to the growl of your stomach...
Fun huh? Lunch time after exam want to eat something also can't and just drink plain water... And with nothing inside to fill your stomach,in this condition, you go to another exam later...

Todays paper...
E mathematics paper 1...
the paper... was just simply too easy...
and which means, the score to get A1 will be much much higher as everyone will score good...
wtf.
I was wishing for a darn difficult paper this year...
And what it give me?

A mathematics paper 2.
nice done, max POSSIBLE mark(question attempt), 20/80.
GLHF, sayo.

Paper to go,
his,ss,phy,com sci p1, 3 x CL...

What can I do?
Why is there no one who is going to help me?
This is karma? I always help other in their studies so why isn't there anyone to help me when i need help?
Why isn't anyone there for me when i am always there for so many people?
Why?

nvm...
It's ok...
To be alone...
Since no one can help me...
I'll just help myself...
I dunno how...
But i will somehow do it...
With textbook, internet... Whatever...
I will be going through this...
Alone.

Maybe i will update this blog again, maybe i won't...
I just want to forget all this pain and ignore it even when it is there...
I just want to cover it now... even though it still exist there...
I just want to concentrate on my studies now...
Just studies... And nothing else...
Just put everything after O's...
But again, after O's... I got other important stuff to do...
I can't take some break to let myself collapse...
Nvm...
"chuan dao qiao tou ci ran zhi"

Posted at
5:25 PM
My life.
Lib's life.
Pika~!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

EL paper...

Today...
EL.
haiz... my second feared paper...
first fear is a maths...

i haven study at all for my EL...
later going to sch with wendy and ask her to teach me...
lol
so many format to memories... haiz...

EL.
Good luck all O lvl peeps~!
I mean good luck to all my friends and not all sg, hope that all other O lvlers fail then we can get high marks!
hehe... i am bad but...
i want my bands to be nice ^^

Posted at
9:26 AM
My life.
Lib's life.
Pika~!

Chinese~?

lol
i felt that my chinese are improving wor...
these few days learn a number of chen yu...

that day with julia, our favorite chen yu was...
"Fan hou yi gen yan, kuai le shi shen sian"
ok my han yu ping ying -.-"
this one is this whole year the only thing i learn in sch when teacher teach lol...
cus...
it become one of my excuse to smoke >.<"
Then we create our own new chen yu that day...
while we was eating noodle...
i say...
"then noodles leh?"
then we created,
"Mian hou yi gen yen, kuai le xiang ke fuo"
lol

Then while walking to park, was talking about if dog chase how?
then i say nvm i sacrifice i go disturb the dog then run away you all stay there dun move...
lol then julia was thinking about a chen yu... but she forget it can't think of it...
but i know what is it... cus it is one of my favorite chen yu also ^^
"Wo bu xia di yu, sui xia?"
Mean if i dun go to hell, who go?
lol
then ph say another one...
"ren bu wei ji, tian shen di miea" or something like this...
thats for friday...

saturday...
was talking about a new guy who join us and his relation...
then about how his girl played and use him. dump him, then got problem come to him...
but then, "Hao ma bu chi hui tou chao"
lol
then i was thinking... about me and her...
i rather not be a horse...
lol
if must be... i won't want to be that good horse...

then yesterday talk to fred...
hmm...
was talking about some chen yu but i forget liao...

haha...
my chinese improving wor...
lol

Posted at
9:15 AM
My life.
Lib's life.
Pika~!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Cheers

Cheers to recession...
Let's see...
What will happen...

Let's just die together lol~

Posted at
7:42 AM
My life.
Lib's life.
Pika~!

What... Will happen?

Growth estimates revised down with GDP decline
Posted: 10 October 2008 0812 hrs

SINGAPORE: Against the less than favourable economic environment, Singapore’s GDP growth forecast for 2008 has been revised to around 3% from 4-5%.

Singapore’s Monetary Authority said in a release Friday that economic growth is likely remain below its potential rate over the next few quarters with prospects of a recovery in the latter half of 2009 depending significantly on how conditions evolve.

It also cited the latest advance estimates released by the Ministry of Trade and Industry which show that Singapore’s GDP declined by 6.3% on a quarter-on-quarter seasonally adjusted annualised basis in Q3 2008.

The decline for a second straight quarter, means the city-state has entered a recession for the first time in six years.

Trade figures indicated a slowdown that was generally broad based as external shocks were transmitted to the domestic economy via both the financial and trade channels.

The MAS said, looking ahead, the outlook for the global economy has deteriorated and a more severe global downturn cannot be discounted.

The heightened risk aversion and deleveraging in the financial sector, it said creates new uncertainties for the Singapore economy.

Source: Channelnewsasia

Posted at
7:07 AM
My life.
Lib's life.
Pika~!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Voice and sounds...

I won't say...
My feeling towards you anymore in here...
Everytime i think of you...
I will just broke down...
Til i don't have the strength to type...

Yes...
My hand is even trembling now...

There is a need for me to put aside my feelings and emotion now...
I need to have my last run for my O's...
I will stay strong... For one last month...
Then let me collapse for all i care...

I will decrease my time where tears flows out...
And minimize it if possible to mere Zero...
From hours...
then to mins...
then none...

I dunno i can or not...
BUt i'll try...

I'll try...
to live... without you...
I'll try... anything...

I know, i have done my best...
And... I am glad... For i have done my best... Already...

Posted at
10:57 PM
My life.
Lib's life.
Pika~!

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Leave... Just go...

Leave...
Just leave...
You wanted to do it so long ago already didn't you?
You have never wanted me anyway...

Just one shout, "someone save me" you always have them for you...
But when i shout, who would fucking bother?
Who will fucking be there to concern about me?
Who will be there to ease my pains?
WHO? WHO?
NO ONE ELSE BUT MYSELF.

I always find people to accompany me...
But always get rejected...
I can only find people to accompany me when they themself are in a not good mood and want to talk with someone else...

Ya just like they say...
I am fuck up, i am useless...
I am not worthwhile at all...
So just leave...

Stop lying... Please...
Stop saying "you need me"...
Stop saying "other cant compare to ur love"
They are all lies...
All LIES.
You say such word now, and then you freaking say another thing in another instant...
Stop lying to me...
Stop hurting me please...
Stop hurting me with all yours words...

Just leave...
Just go...
Don't falter...
go...

I don't need anyone...
For I myself is always the one who is alone and cheering myself up...
Giving myself encouragement... Pushing myself...
I am a loner by fact...

Don't say "i love you" to me anymore...
Don't hug and kiss me anymore...
It will only hurt me more...

Just leave...
Just leave...

Goodbye...
May this be, our last conversation...
Never shall our path cross again...
Goodbye...
My love...

Posted at
4:55 PM
My life.
Lib's life.
Pika~!

Tears... part 3?

Everyday...
It just keep falling...
Keep falling...
When...
Can this flow stop?

Today...
Went out with Julia just now...
Mood just so damn low...
So damn sad...
I don't want to cry...
I don't want to cry alone...
I don't want to be in this room alone anymore...
I don't want...

Thanks julia...
For tonight...
It was fun ^^
really cheered me up a lot ^^
And dun think too much...
Cats are just cats~

At least...
I found you to pei me smoke...
Pei me talk my sadness...
And help me to cover my worries and sadness with laughter...
With your "haiz we are here to relax and chill dun talk about love"
With our "Linkest" jokes lol
and...
stop calling me "grow wrong side" plz -.-"

BWG = Brown Work Glove!
lol

But then...
I just can't forget...
Just can't...
Sorry...
I kept talking about her on almost everything we talk lol

Tonight...
was really...
dun and relaxing ^^
and plz bring your wallet next time -.-"
You owe me a meal haha~
lol

I step in home...
The air pressure seems to change... into something so tense...
an atmosphere so tense...
nvm...
forget about it...

I just hope...
Tml can be an relaxing day for me again...
I just hope...
This tears wont fall tml...
But i know...
It just won't stop...
It just won't... stop...

Posted at
7:47 AM
My life.
Lib's life.
Pika~!

That door...

The feeling...
Of your love one...
Walking out of that door...

Pain...
Intense pain...
But nothing could be do to hold back...
Wish to hug him tight...
So tight and not to let go...
But... It will still go...

Waiting and waiting...
Not knowing what time will come home...
or will he be home or not...

Waiting and waiting...
Hours after hours...

Just so empty...
So empty... Nothing oneself do seems to be able to fill up this emptiness within oneself...
Waiting and waiting...
Hoping and hoping...

Everytime thought that "I heard footsteps/Keysound"
But then you realise...
You are just imagining it...

And finally...
The real footstep and key sound...
But then... Blank...
Unable to face him...

It just hurt so bad...
So bad...

This feeling...
I have been experiencing it...
So often...
So so often...

Me...
Waiting at the window...
Looking at bus, looking at cabs...
Hoping you are one of them inside...
Look at the lift...
Hoping that the lift finally stop at 14th floor...
But when it stop, you didn't came out, instead it was the neighbours...
Disappointed with every taxi and bus or even cars that pass by...
Why are you not in them?
Why ain't you home soon?
Have you forgotten about me?
These thoughts... just keep lingering...

This feeling...
I seems to experience it... Everyday...

I sleep...
I play games...
I so stupid things...
I just with time to pass as soon as possible...
So you will be home soon...

So do you know...
Why I dunno how to face you everytime you come home?
So do you know...
My pains that i gone through almost everyday now?

Posted at
5:57 AM
My life.
Lib's life.
Pika~!

Friday, October 17, 2008

Thou shall not Tears but Accept. Reality...

Days and days has Passed...
Tears and tears has Flowed...
Why doesn't anything change for me...
Can someone just pass me one pill to let me stay strong?

I am Forsaken.
I am Heartbroken.

No one out there...

Who will say to me, "I'll always be there for you"?
Who will? Who?

I don't have any hope left...
I don't have any reason to go on anymore...

I wish... Life could end...

Posted at
11:18 AM
My life.
Lib's life.
Pika~!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Adjust...

Just adjust and adjust...
adjust...
and...
adjust...

Sayo.

Posted at
3:33 AM
My life.
Lib's life.
Pika~!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Rest asure babe...

You are never alone...

I am never alone too...

It is all... just how...
you find your companions...

Posted at
3:18 AM
My life.
Lib's life.
Pika~!

Bleeding...

Each...
and every moment...

Posted at
3:13 AM
My life.
Lib's life.
Pika~!

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Intense...

Pains...
fustrations...
Sadness...
Angers...

Accept them, they are just mere emotions...

Posted at
9:27 PM
My life.
Lib's life.
Pika~!

Thursday, October 02, 2008

T.T

Bright sun above,
Entered my eyes...
Warm as love,
But leave me dry...

Stars above,
I sang a song...
If loving you ain't right,
I would rather be wrong...

Destinies to fulfil,
Dreams to conquer...
Life without you,
Things are impossible...

Fragrant roses,
Stuck in air...
Danger will arise,
Do beware.

Blade of blades,
Sharpest of sharp...
Deepest of deep,
Death of heart...

Posted at
12:32 AM
My life.
Lib's life.
Pika~!

Just a little a longer..

I swear...
Just a little longer...
After my birthday...
Just after my birthday...

Things shall stop.
I shall be not myself...
May strength be with me...
Conquer this Weakness...
Forget all...
All...

Shall I endure,
Shall I push...
Shall not fall,
Shall not cry...

One last might...
One last strength...
I shall fight...

Hopes...
Too much...
Responsible to fulfil all wishes and hopes...
Lies here...

May awakening,
delay til this saturday...
This...
saturday...

Please...
One last might...
One last fight...

Posted at
12:24 AM
My life.
Lib's life.
Pika~!